Shirley McCauley 1935-2012

"Often people's lives are compared to lights or sparks.  An analogy that speaks to the abruptness of life and death, but also the significance.  Now I love all my family and friends, and I do believe that everyone is unique, it just isn't always as noticeable to those that don't know a person well.  That being true, if Shirley McCauley were a light we rarely would have needed another to see.  You need not have met her many times for her to have a left memorable impression on you. She was an extrovert with so much youthful energy it was almost ridiculous, well, at least after around 10 or 11 am, especially if she'd been out at the casino all night before. It's worth knowing that, as much as it pains us to lose her, this was no less true of her to the very end.  Indeed, if the woman we are honoring today were a light, there would scarcely be a shadow at all, with the exception of maybe one person at a time for getting on the wrong side of her energy.  But even then, there could never be any permanence to such a shadow because my grandmother was a woman who was deeply sensitive and caring for others, and even if her anger ever got the best of her, she could never last long without being upset and coming to peace with the issue.  However, she did have a great memory, and if you really pissed her off, well, she'd love you just as much but you could be damn sure she'd remember what you did.  Good thing her grandchildren were all perfect then.  Honestly, we may as well be with how much her and my grandpa Larry have done for us.  I probably learned more about giving to others from my grandmother than anyone else in my life, because not only did she give us a great deal, but she also constantly reminded us to thank others involved in the gift, and not to flourish the things in front of those that were not so fortunate to have and grandmother that stuffed 100 dollars in their pockets just because they came over to mow the lawn.  And for those of you who don't know of this type of behavior, no, you could not turn down such offers.  I tried.  A lot.  But it was in these things that I was able to see just how much giving to those you care for can make a person happy.  Shirley was at her happiest whenever she was handing us money like it was a secret, taking us shopping for a new car, or bringing a ridiculously large bag of christmas presents over for each grandchild because she said it was much easier than wrapping them all.  And this remained true always, extending on to her great grandchildren as if there was no difference.  Speaking of great-grandchildren, you couldn't get a better example of her ridiculous levels of energy.  No one can make my son Keagan laugh as easily as she could.  Any question to the truth of that statement can be dismissed because it was easily the most difficult line to write.  I realize now that I could go on and on about my grandma because there are no shortage of great stories and things to say about her, but I think it might be best for those who will miss her the most to go over the memories at whatever pace suits them more comfortably.  So I will end with what, to me, is the most important truth.  As hard as it is to physically lose Shirley McCauley or any person that we love, we never truly lose them.  It isn't simply a matter of memory, although that is one aspect of it.  The people we love have a profound impact on our lives and who we are,
and the closer they are the more of what makes them transcends to us.  It is sad that she is gone, but in some ways it's no different than if she just weren't in the same place as me.  Just because we are not around someone, does not mean that they do not exist.  My grandparents are just as much a part of my life as they always have been and will be, I just no longer get some of their representations in person.  Regardless of what you believe, our memories and our personalities keep those we care about alive and with us, and Shirley believed this too. I was fortunate enough to have such a discussion with her recently, so as being here today is to honor her, it only seems right that you all accept the argument I have presented this time as true.  That all being said, we all deeply miss your light." Written by Alex Peterson