New Year's Resolution

When the end of the year arrives, I always get a hopeful feeling for the upcoming new year. I always attempt a new year's resolution and this year I think I will make more of an effort to actually stick with it. I think when most people try to decide what they are going to make their new year's resolution, losing weight is probably the most common choice and while I still have a little shaping up to do myself, I think I will try to accomplish something a little more meaningful; I will try to be a better person. Be more forgiving. Spend more time with family so they can spend more time with Keagan. Be more accommodating. Be more open to other peoples' ways of doing things, especially when it comes to taking care of Keagan. Spend more time outside, and less time watching t.v. Do more home improvement projects. Give more attention to my beautiful puppies. Be optimistic more often. Be a better friend. Be a better sister, not just in times of need. Have more patience. Laugh more often. Worry less. Love more.

2010 was a wonderful year. It brought me many laughs, smiles and tears. I can only hope that 2011 will bring many more great memories. I cannot wait to bring in the new year with the people I love most. So here's to a wonderful 2010 and to a fantastic 2011. May it bring happiness and love to everyone. And a little willpower to all those trying to lose a few pounds.

Christmas Traditions

It's always sad to see old traditions pass, but with each passing tradition creates opportunity for a new one. When I was younger, my family would go to the midnight Christmas Eve service at our church. At the very end of the service, they would pass out candles to each person and then one person would go down the middle with a lit candle, lighting the candle of the person sitting closest to the aisle. Then that person would turn to the person sitting next to them and light their candle and so on and so forth until the whole congregation had their candles lit. Once the last candle was lit, all of the lights were turned off and everyone would sing "Silent Night". It was one of my all time favorite things during Christmas. Unfortunately, someone ruined that tradition by messing with the candle. I am assuming someone got burned, or maybe something caught fire, I'm not entirely sure why they stopped doing it, but they no longer do the candle lit singing of "Silent Night". (You can imagine my disappointment the year that stopped. The disappointment comes close to the time I found out Santa wasn't real)

This year, Alex, Keagan and I will be starting our own traditions as well as continuing old ones. We will go to Alex's parent's house where we will have his family Christmas. We will spend time with his grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings and we will all gather in their living room to play "grab bag Bingo". It is one of my favorite things. And of course Alex and Ryan will say when December 25th is called "That's Christmas right?" (Christmas is its own square on the Bingo board) or when Christmas is called they will say "That's December 25th right?" It will be fun. On Christmas day, we will spend part of the morning at home and then head to my mom's house for brunch, and then we will eat a late lunch there too. We will spend time listening to Christmas music, eating a relish tray and maybe watching Harry Potter.

I think that the traditions I had as a child really helped shape who I am today, and I definitely want to start some of the same traditions for Keagan. There was nothing quite like waking up at 3 in the morning to check if Santa has come and then wait anxiously until everyone else woke up to open presents. I am really looking forward to this Christmas because it is his first, but also because I enjoy Christmas myself. As Christmas gets one day closer, I find that my excitement level grows.

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope it's wonderful.

Cereal yes, Carrots...maybe?

We have been giving little man cereal for two weeks or so now and he is really seeming to like it. At first he wasn't sure what to think, but now he is at the point where he opens his mouth for more. Yesterday was the first day he had carrots and I am not really sure what he thinks. He didn't eat as much of the carrots as he eats of the cereal, but the carrots smell a lot stronger than the cereal so I can imagine it must taste a lot different too. I really wanted to try the fruits first because when I was little I loved fruits. The funny thing is that I remember when my little brother was eating baby food and I would have my mom give me some of the jarred pears. (I was almost 4 or maybe a little over 4 and I wanted baby food.) I was a mature baby :) Anyway, I'm going to hold off on giving him the fruits until he has tried all the different vegetables I got for him. If he likes green beans I think I will be grossed out. Maybe so grossed out that Alex will have to feed those to him.

It's really kind of exciting getting to try different things food wise. I was a little worried he wouldn't like the cereal when he first tried it, but now that he's used to it and allowed to have fruits and veggies it puts my mind at ease because if he doesn't like some of the veggies, there are always more I can try. I think next I will try sweet potato and then I will move on to the peas and green beans.

I will have to take photos each time he eats a different food so everyone can see the mess he makes. Yesterday, I used my camera and shot a video of his first few bits of carrots. It's probably a minute or two long and it makes me laugh; He makes some of the funniest faces :) The cutest thing he does when he is sitting in his little chair is when the dogs catch his eye, he will stop eating and smile at them. It seems like he smiles more at Lucas, but that is because Lucas is way more interested in him than little miss independent, Beyla.

I am also excited for his first Christmas, which is coming up soon! I can't believe that it is in a week! I know he is getting a walker from his Aunt Katie and Uncle Rob. I cannot wait to see him in it! It's all really exciting for me. Probably more so for me than anyone else, but what can I say, babies are fun.

AND on a completely different note:
I am finally back to my pre-pregnancy weight! :) And although I still need to tone up and get all that lost muscle back, it still feels pretty darn good!

My spirits were lifted.

There is something very peaceful about snow--something that makes me forget all my worries for a split second. I wasn't expecting it to snow today, so when I looked outside before leaving for the gym and saw that it was snowing, it immediately lifted my spirits.

Here are a few sayings that make me smile:

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, for this is law and the prophets"

"The rest of creation is waiting, breathless, for you to take your place." -David Whyte

"Life was never meant to be a struggle, just a gentle progression from one point to another, much like walking through a valley on a sunny day." -Stuart Wilde

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore.Dream. Discover"- Mark Twain

“Being considerate of others will take you further in life than a college degree." -Marian Wright Edelman

“The best way you can cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up”

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see."- Henry David Thoreau

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on.- Robert Frost

Until next time, friends.

How time flies!

K-man has his four month checkup on Wednesday. It is so hard for me to believe that he will be four months old! It seems like just last week when I went into labor. The funniest thing that happened to me happened when we were driving to the hospital. I had a headlight out for a week or maybe longer, but since I never drove at night, it never really mattered much. I started having contractions around 10:45 pm on the 18th and since they were 5 minutes apart from the start, we left for the hospital around 11:45 or 12. As we pulled out of the driveway, Alex says to me "Wouldn't it be funny if we got pulled over for the headlight?" Of course I disagreed saying something along the lines of how that would NOT be funny because I was in pain. We got to the end of our street, turned right, came to the 4-way stop where a police officer was stopped waiting to go. We drove maybe 5-10 yards more when we saw the officer turn on his lights. I couldn't help but laugh a little, because he JUST got done saying how funny it would be if this happened. The officer walked up to the window and said how the light was out and Alex said "Yeah, I've been meaning to get it fixed, and I will as soon as I can..." And then he points over to me "...but she is in labor" And then officer looked over to me and replied with "Oh, then get the hell out of here!" I thought it was pretty funny despite my contractions. Alex planned on making the officer feel bad if he/she was not nice about it. Luckily, this officer was really nice and wasn't planning on giving us a ticket anyway, he was simply telling us something we already knew!

I am pretty lucky with the way my labor turned out. Luckily, I started out having contractions 5 minutes apart. Apparently they can start out really far apart and then get closer and more painful. Mine were already close, so I didn't have to tough it out for very long before getting to the hospital. Once I got to the hospital, they took me to my room and gave me my epidural. The worse part about labor for me was having to have a C-section. Not only did I have to push for over 3 hours, I didn't have any success with it because he was upside down and turned to one side. I was really upset that it ended with a C-section, I kind of felt like a failure. After they decided that I should deliver by Cesarean, it was only a matter of minutes before my handsome baby boy was born. I don't know how the pain compares, but delivering that way really hurt. I suppose I could have asked for stronger pain medication, but I never did.

So, Wednesday I take him to get his shots and I get to find out how much he weighs and how tall he is. I am excited for the weight and height check, not so much for the shots. It makes me feel so bad! It was hard to watch the first time around, even more so because Alex wasn't there. At least this time he will be able to spend the day with us. :)

Happy December!

What a wonderful time of year! I don't necessarily like the cold, but I have to say, this time of year is my favorite. I love the feeling I get around Christmas. It all stems from my childhood--waking up before everyone else, going downstairs to see all the presents that Santa brought and then going back to bed until it's time to get up with the family to open them all--it was a magical feeling. As unfortunate as it is that I know that Santa is not real, I still get that same feeling every Christmas. It's not the opening gifts that I enjoy so much as it is spending time with family. I guess that is why I like Thanksgiving so much too, (although eating a ton may have a little to do with it too :) )

I went to the gym this morning and it was snowing a little. I got a happy, warm feeling as I got out of my car and walked in it. It's nice when you have something else to focus on other than the freezing cold! There is nothing quite like the first snow and although I wouldn't consider this the first snow, it was nice feeling like Christmas is coming up. I can't wait until we get our first actual stick-to-the-ground snow. Christmas is not the same when there isn't snow on the ground.

When I got home, I couldn't help but put in the old school "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" DVD I got last year. I loved that cartoon as a little kid, and I still do. It's funny to me that when I was younger I thought it was an actual movie--it's only 26 minutes long. I suppose it makes sense though, kids' attention spans aren't usually long enough to sit through a whole movie. Alex thought it was kind of funny that I was putting it in to watch it. "You're watching that? Why don't you watch it when Christmas is closer?" "I'll just watch it again." And he just laughed at me. What can I say, it's one of my favorite childhood memories!

So, as I count the days until Christmas, I am enjoying every little bit of it. After Christmas I will not be so happy going outside in the cold, snowy weather. :)

Seasonal Affective Disorder

I'll tell you who has it. People who live in the Jordan Creek area. People who shop at the big C. Daylight savings must really affect peoples' moods because people were having a difficult time responding to a simple "Hi, how are you?". Apparently people did what I did the night before; they stayed up extra late because they got an extra hour of sleep, cancelling out the extra hour. And not only did it cancel out the extra hour--if they were like me and stayed up later than an hour-- it made them more tired because they got less sleep than they usually get.

I will say, I am kinda sad that we will be seeing less sunlight now that we changed the clocks back an hour. I can feel the serotonin draining out of my system. Not really, but I'm sure that would be a weird feeling. I should buy one of those "happy" lights. The ones that are supposed to help you feel happy (hints the name) during the winter months. To me it just looks like a bright light. I have my doubts that it actually works.

What I am looking forward to the least are the little annoying things winter brings--dry hands, static, colds and the feeling of your nose hairs freezing in your nose. I need to find a new CD that I can listen to to lift my spirits in these hard, hard months. Maybe I'll buy the Colbie Caillat CD I haven't gotten yet. Or maybe a CD that has some acoustic guitar with some piano. Ahh that sounds nice.

Anyone want to go on a tropical vacation with me? Maybe move to Hawaii? Anyone?

Karma is a bitch Robert Hatch.

It's getting cold again. I am not really looking forward to the cold weather. In fact, I have been dreading it. I think I am starting to get a cold too which makes the cold, windy weather that much worse. The good thing about the cold is I can break out my winter boots again and wear sweaters and sweatshirts. That is my favorite thing about the cold, by far. It also means that Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I'm not really sure why, except for I absolutely love the feeling I get. It must stem from a childhood memory, although I can't really remember a good Thanksgiving before I met Alex. My ex-step father made holidays hell in any way he could. He would lecture us and make my mom upset over things that didn't really matter. Things like laying on the floor in the living room, putting the dogs outside or talking too loud were just a few of the things that he would get after us about. He was probably the worst thing I can remember when I think about holidays or my childhood. And the strange thing was, was that he would mostly get mad at me. There was something about me that he didn't like. Sure he got upset with my other siblings, but not quite to the extent that he got upset with me. He could probably tell that I despised him and his son more than anything else, but I really wasn't a bad kid, he just didn't like me; he hated me. I mostly kept to myself. The saddest thing about it was that when my mom wasn't home and Bob was, I would just stay in my room, all night, just so I wouldn't have to be around him. I would avoid him at all costs. So you can imagine the relief I felt when my mom decided that she had taken enough of his verbal abuse and decided that she would live without him. I felt free again. That must be the great feeling I get now on Thanksgiving and Christmas--being able to enjoy myself without having to walk on eggshells--or having to worry that Bob was going to say something that would make my mom or one of us kids cry. It's not hard to believe that we are all emotionally scarred because of him, but at least that part of our lives is over. Now when I think about him, all I think about is sending him a mean letter or email saying how much of my life he ruined. How much of my mom's life he ruined. And then I think about doing something destructive to him or his possessions.

My absolute fondest memory of being lectured by him was when we were driving home from a movie--my mom, Bob, my friend Heather and I. Heather and I were in the back seat, getting lectured about who knows what, and a song came on the radio. The chorus is "And it's a great day to be alive, I know the sun's still shining when I close my eyes, There's some hard times in the neighborhood, But why can't every day be just this good?" I was mouthing the song to Heather while he was lecturing us. He had no idea that we weren't listening to him, that I was mocking him. I was secretly embarrassed, but I guess that's how I coped with the years of verbal abuse, I joked about it.

I have to admit that every time I hear about something that has happened to him, I get a good deal of satisfaction out of it. Karma is a bitch Robert Henry Hatch. Remember that. When you had to file for bankruptcy, when you had to foreclose on your house, I hope you know I was smiling. You deserve every bit of bad that you get for putting us all through hell. And to everyone who is reading this, know that I am not a cold person. Usually I empathize with people who have bad things happen to them. But in this case, it is 100% deserved. Not always do bad things happen to bad people, but high-five for this. The universe is showing me that in the end, people really do get what they deserve. I have to stop myself when I start feeling sorry for him. It's sad that he will most likely die alone, with no one in his life. He has nothing anymore. I simply have to remind myself that he could have had it all. He could have had a family that cared about him, but he ruined any chance he had by being a complete ass hole.

So every holiday my family has now without Bob is a blessing. I am thankful that he is no longer a part of our lives, that he can no longer hurt us with his hateful words. It feels good to be free of him; it feels really good.

Ugh

Tomorrow is the day that I have been dreading ever since I gave birth to my little monkey man. That's right. I go back to work tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it. I am happy that Alex has the day off so he can watch him while I am at work, but I will still miss him. I talked Alex into taking me to work tomorrow. It took little negotiating actually. It makes more sense considering that we have family night at Alex's parents' house. The good news, I only work weekends. I have to keep reminding myself that I am only going to be working weekends so it's not really that big of a deal being gone for 8 hours each day. I'll be fine.

On a brighter note, I successfully completed my second week of working out today. The first week I went 5 out of 7 days, but it was random. This week: Monday-Friday 6:30-7a.m. workouts. 25-30 minutes on the elliptical machine and then weights. Arms and legs every other day. It feels good to get back in the swing of things and it works out well, really. Keagan has been sleeping 9 hours at night for the past week so when he gets up at 6:15, I feed him and put him back in bed and then I go to the gym. It's kind of sad how out of shape I have gotten these past months. I am pretty hard on myself, and even though I had a baby 8 weeks ago, I feel like my body should be more like what it was before I got pregnant. It is not at all like what it was pre-pregnancy though. I wish results would show sooner. One good thing is my pre-pregnancy jeans are starting to fit better. It's kind of weird how it works..jeans fitting better but the numbers on the scale don't really change much. That's why it's frustrating. I have to keep telling myself that numbers don't mean everything.

Another completely random thought, I am really happy that it is fall. I love this season. Sunny, cool weather. Leaves on the ground. Trees turning oranges and reds. It really makes me happy. Part of it has to do with the fact that I met Alex in the summer and we started dating in the fall. Ugh, sappy. Alex would be so disappointed if he read this. Anyway, all along I have been saying how depressed it makes me that it is starting to get dark at 6:30 at night, but not I am kind of looking forward to daylight savings.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow. UGH! Maybe I won't wait so long to write my next blog either.

Silly doctors.

I think the person who said that babies sleeping on their bellies could potentially cause SIDS doesn't really know what they are talking about. More often than not, I think doctors and other professionals don't have an explanation for medical problems, SIDS included, so they tell people what to do and what not to do to prevent that problem from happening. In fact, I think it is kind of ridiculous for doctors to tell people the worst case scenario when it most likely will never come to that. For example, when I was pregnant, I went to the doctor for a checkup and to listen to baby's heartbeat. When the doctor was trying to find his heartbeat she says "Oh, that sounds like an irregular heartbeat." She then switches to the other side of my stomach where she could hear his heartbeat better, and as it turned out, his heartbeat wasn't irregular at all. My question is, why would you even say something like that without being sure first? She's lucky I wasn't overly emotional that day because I can only imagine what some pregnant people would do if she caused panic like that to them. Another example of being told the worst case scenario was when baby K was born with jaundice and the doctor said that if it gets high enough it could cause brain damage. It freaked me out. I worried for DAYS because of that comment.

Anyway, I have been putting him on his belly to sleep for naps and I think he sleeps better that way. I have put him on his side to sleep too. My mom put me on my stomach to sleep all the time when I was younger and I didn't die from SIDS. I think it is kind of funny that they used to tell new parents to not have their babies sleep on their backs because if the baby spit up, they might choke on it. Pretty soon they will tell us that babies can't sleep at all because something terrible will happen if they do.

Reminiscing

Alex and my one year anniversary is Friday and I can't help but think about the past year. I've heard the first year of marriage is the hardest, but I don't think that really applies to people that lived together for a couple years before they got married. The first year for me was actually a really good one. I remember when Alex proposed to me. I graduated from Iowa State May 9, 2009 and we our cruise set sail May 10, 2009. We were driving up to Minnesota to spend the night with Alex's cousin, Ryan, and then fly out of Minneapolis in the morning. We were maybe half an hour away from our house and Alex started talking about the cruise and how I had no choice to go on the cruise, that I was stuck with him. I responded with something along the lines of "I'm okay with that." He then had me open the glove box. I immediately saw the box that held the ring, but I wasn't entirely sure that he meant for me to see it, so I pretended to not see it and get out what he asked me to get. He then pointed it out and had me grab it. After I opened the box and saw the ring, Alex said something like "So will you marry me?" or "So you want to get married?" I wasn't surprised at all when he asked like that. I, of course said yes, and then he started talking about how he was planning on asking me months before in Omaha when we went to the zoo, but he forgot the ring at home. (He took me to Omaha for a weekend when we first started dating to get away from home. It was a nice time. Had a nice hotel, Downtown Omaha had its charm, and it was the first time we went anywhere together for a weekend. It was spontaneous. And romantic.) We got to Minneapolis, spent the evening with Ryan (who we didn't tell that we were engaged) and then spent the next seven days on a cruise ship having a great time. We then spent the next almost five months planning our wedding and October 1, 2009 we were pronounced husband and wife.

It was one of the best days of my life. Now we have a beautiful baby boy and will experiencing our first anniversary as a married couple. We will eat frozen wedding cake from our wedding. I'm sure it will be gross, but it's a tradition that I think will be fun. The lady who made our cake for the wedding is making us a small cake, that way we can enjoy some good cake after eating the gross cake with freezer burn. I am more excited about it than I should be, but we will get to spend the day together as a family. The only problem is, what do I get for him as an anniversary gift? Alex is the hardest person to buy gifts for. I want to do something meaningful, but he hates sappy stuff. Any Ideas?

Well, the chocolate chip cookies I made are calling my name so I guess I will call it good. Hopefully tomorrow at my six week checkup the doctor says it's okay for me to start working out again. Man have I missed it..

I got pooped on today.

Yes. You read that correctly. I got pooped on today. I've been spit up on and peed on, but today is the first day that I have been pooped on by Keagan. I was sitting on the couch feeding him when he started farting a lot. Nothing new, he farts a lot. I checked the side of his diaper to see if he squeezed out a little poop with those stinky farts. Apparently I stretched out the diaper and positioned it perfectly so when he pooped it squirted out the side of the diaper and on to my shirt and the boppy pillow that I was using. I love my son, but I was disgusted. I won't go into detail about the consistency or the smell, but it was gross. I took him upstairs, changed him and I took a hot shower. And when I was done with that, I started a load of laundry. The only thing that would have made this a better story is if he would have laughed when he did it. I take that back. There is another thing that would have made this a great story: if he had pooped on Alex instead of me. I thought about teaching him how to poop out of his diaper on Alex, but I don't think I will do that. I don't want him learning how to do that because then I will have to reteach him not to do it.

Although, Alex will be teaching him a lot of bad habits...so maybe I will try to teach him that. Hmm..so many things to think about.

Out and about

I've come to the realization that people who live in the Jordan Creek area of West Des Moines are snobs. It doesn't matter if you are carrying a baby, or pushing a cart with a baby in it, they expect you to get out of their way, and if you don't move so they have to, they give you an evil look like you are Hitler or Hitler's best friend. I don't like Hitler, people, so look at me like that again and I will slash your tires. That is an empty threat. I would be too scared to try to slash someone's tires. I wouldn't want to get caught, and then have to pay for some bastard who looked at me like that to get free tires. I'm not made of money people.

I didn't actually come to that realization today, but I was just reminded of it when I was out. Good story, huh.

Eyebrows.

Last night, while watching Chuck, I noticed something that I haven't really noticed before. I mean, sure, I have noticed it, but never really thought about it much. The girl in Chuck has blonde hair with brown eyebrows and the question I have been asking myself ever since is what is the purpose of eyebrows? After noticing her eyebrows, I am fairly confident that I spent the remainder of the episode looking at people's eyebrows. Great way to spend 30-40 minutes of my time, I know. But seriously! What are they good for?!! Some people shave their eyebrows off and you don't see them die from some kind of no-eyebrow disease.

On a different note, my 8th grade English teacher shaved his eyebrows, probably daily. It matched his shiny bald head. Not the cool, I want to shave my head to look tough bald head, but the I am old and my hair doesn't grow on my head anymore bald head. It also matched his huge glasses that took up most of his forehead and cheeks. He was a pretty cool guy, I guess. He had a lot of lame jokes, and no eyebrows. He seemed healthy enough without his eyebrows though.

So I am left pondering this all last night and still this morning..so much that I spend part of it writing a blog about it. Maybe someone can enlighten me. And don't say something stupid like "Oh, they are there to protect your eyes from stuff falling in them." That is not true. Isn't that what eyelashes are for? Is it? I don't even know..

Next Blog..Eyelashes.

I'm doing it because they're doing it.

My first blog. Ah, yes. It feels nice. I never really thought I would have a blog, but since it seems like everyone and their pet has one, I might as well give in to the peer pressure and write one. Originally I signed up so I could post comments on my husband's blog, but since he rarely writes them anymore, I figured I might as well do something with my account.

A little about me..I graduated with my Bachelor's degree in Advertising in May 2009, got married in October and just had a baby last month. It has been a pretty productive year I'd say. I, sadly, have not done anything exciting with my degree yet, but hopefully one of these days I will find something that resembles a real job. Right not I am just working weekends at a wonderful place (not) so I can stay home with my baby boy and not have to pay lots of money for daycare.

The purpose of this blog you ask? (Were you really asking yourself that?) I am hoping to use this to keep myself from lounging on the couch all day long and watching 30Rock or Chuck for the billionth time. We will see how it goes. Chances are I will be lounging on the couch, watching 30Rock or Chuck while writing a blog, so maybe it won't serve it's purpose at all. Ohwell. At least I can share my random thoughts with the world.

Ohh yeah.